The Magical Art of Not Losing Your Airpods

These are breaking the rules.

When you discover a magical object, sometimes magical thinking is required.

There are three fundamental rules governing the persistence of Airpods in this universe.

  1. Airpods must be continuously held by another object.
  2. Only three things can hold them:
    — your ears
    — your hands
    — their charging-case
  3. They cannot be held by any other objects or containers in the universe.
  4. If Rule 2 is not being followed, see Rule 1.

Airpods are magic in that— like some quantum bit — they are, at best, tenuously in one’s own particular brand of universe. Perhaps there’s a reflexive property of objects intended to be worn in pairs (on the body) that succumb to this probabilistic outcome of just blinking away to a more magical and (likely) interesting destination.

Unless, however, their chain of existence is methodically followed with the discipline of a child adventurer competing in a game of The Floor Is Lava™.

Except that everything but your ears, hands, and charging-case is Lava.

Your coat pocket? A rich pool of Lava.

Your pants pocket? An underground chasm of Lava.

The bedside table? A waterfall of Lava.

The empty car seat next to you? Lava cushions.


Update, 8/1/18: Three months later, the Lava Rules™ have not let me down.

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