Living In Time or On Time

2018.05.31

The flight was delayed and deplaned. The thunderstorm moved across the tarmac as it consumed the beltway until the planes again began their ascents three hours later. I’ll be  overnight in LAX with so few hours before the rebooked connecting flight home that it might not be worth a hotel room. I’ll figure that out when I land.

I was never in the same place for more than a few days. I was never alone for more than a few hours, and every other period of solitude consisted of meditating and writing, as often while still as when moving. I was never more surprised, except by whatever came next. I never got anywhere close to eight hours of sleep.

I played SET. I noticed a lot of patterns and attempted to make meanings. I baked many gluten and dairy free pizzas, especially on travel days. I put them in leftover to-go boxes. I did laundry. I packed the right amount. I fell a little behind in my journal. It would have generally said “no, now that was the best day of the trip.”

But experience > stubborn fixation.

I talked a lot. Sometimes too much. Fretted talking too much and also not talking enough. Listened. A lot. Asked more challenging and bold questions. Wrote almost another hundred thousand words, of which one out of every five is public.  I rehearsed and repeated the stories and Big Moments of the first year of Sabbatical™ but never quite felt like I have told it either correctly or succinctly — which means there is no perfect rendition of a year. It’s unclear if there is another year of sabbatical or if there is some other thing from now on. I played guitar and caught a glimpse of how recording a song helped me to almost remember the lyrics. I organized a reading rainbow, and imagined another. I thought and worked some things out loud.

I was on a train, a subway, a plane, a bus, a very large time traveling boat, a car, and electric scooter. I made many obscured gifs with as few colors as possible. I smiled, laughed, cried, and titled my head to one side. I think I … the word for this is, okay, fine … inspired some people. That is really weird and surreal to both do and witness. I saw people; like really saw people as equals and as they really are. I fixed some things before they were nearly very big mistakes, and occasionally tried to change some things that didn’t need mending. I was surprisingly both in time and on time.

Especially when it didn’t seem like it could possibly be the right timing after such a long delay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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